All of a sudden (well, over the last few weeks) the temperature has really dropped and I am experiencing the chills and draughts that come from living in my little cottage.
Whilst it’s a lovely little cottage, and it looks so beautiful in my living room with the Christmas tree and all the lights, the downside of this old house is that it’s full of holes! And has thin, minimally insulated walls! And old single glazing windows! COLD!
I am a frugal girl, don’t you know? I find it very hard to spend money because growing up we never had any to spend. So living in a house that genuinely gets so cold that my hands hurt has been a true challenge for me.
I know I can afford to put the heating on. I am blessed to know a God who has provided me with a job, and that my job pays enough for all my household expenses – including money for a higher heating bill.
And yet I still struggle to justify putting the heating on because it feels like such an unnecessary luxury!
Right now I have a checklist to decide whether it’s justified:
– at least 3 layers on top, with socks and slippers
– hot water bottle andmicrowave heat bag
– a blanket
If I’ve done all those things and I’m still cold, I’ll put the heating on. But it’s a torturous decision each time.
Lately I’ve realised that my reluctance to put the heating on shows my lack of trust and dependence on God. It shows I don’t believe that he will meet my each and every need. Me not using the heating is me saying to God, “I don’t trust you to take care of me…you aren’t going to keep providing for me…I need a contingency plan”
Totally stupid. Totally wrong.
I know I can trust God to meet my needs. He does it everyday. He sustains me.
So I’m turning the heating on.
This doesn’t mean I’m going to start putting the it up to 22°c and wander around in a t-shirt…I am still going to be sensible and have my little checklist….but I don’t need to wait until I’m literally freezing to do it!